Dating

Pros and Cons of Dating Someone Older

The dating scene in California is still foreign to me. I dated a 28 year old when I first moved here, my first older man! God damn he was hot. But it was intimidating. I’m not a shy person at all and I seem to actually come off probably too outgoing. But I was nervous around him and didn’t act myself. Eventually I found out he was engaged less than a month prior to meeting me and that their engagement wasn’t entirely over. SHAME ON YOU.
I have this debate with my friends about age range sometimes, they all prefer to date older guys. I on the other hand am not opposed to dating someone younger. I recently went on a date with a guy that is 6 years my senior, which I’ve done before. But now that I’m 25, six years is a lot. He is in his 30’s, which seems like a decade away from my maturity level right now. The date went well and he is probably out of my league. But something felt weird. So I decided to put together some pros and cons of dating someone older.

Pros:

1.They are over the “let’s get fucked up and make mistakes” phase

-People say that guys at 30 are like women at 25 and from what I’ve learned it’s relatively true. They still know how to have a good time and hang out with friends but they don’t need to get obliterated and wake up at noon the next day with spilled cereal in their lap. This is important.

2.They are financially secure

-I’m not talking Mr. Moneybags but it’s definitely a pro when you meet someone that has their shit together and actually has a stable career. Sidenote: Living in California is a different lifestyle. A lot of people in their 30’s still surf and knit hammocks in their free time.

  1. They are experienced in life

-They come stacked with years of experience above you, and you can learn from them. They have been where you are and they can provide you with worldly advice. Their maturity level is advanced and they aren’t going to make a scene if you get in an argument.

  1. They are emotionally stable

-This is a biggie. A lot of guys my age act like they are in highschool sometimes. Older guys seem to be more calm and relaxed about their emotions. They have learned from what works for them and what doesn’t and they don’t take it out on you

Cons:

1.They may belittle you

-One thing I’ve learned from dating someone older is that I feel a sense of belittlement from them. They know they are older and can make you feel like they think you are a child. Example: My date last night. He asked me about my living situation and I shared that I live with 5 (fucking awesome) chicks in a house. He kinda giggled and said “oh geeze that’s right your still in the party girl phase”. Mehhhh. I didn’t like that.

  1. Why are they still single?

-Meeting someone single in their 30’s unintentionally raises some red flags. I think it’s fine to be single at any point in your life. But there is that moment that you think, why the hell is he single? He is attractive, smart, etc. but is their something fucked up about him that I’m missing? Your friends will go on and tell you he is probably either afraid of commitment, he’s a player or he has like 7 toes or something odd.

  1. He may be ready for serious commitment

-This is an interesting thought. You don’t want him to be afraid of commitment but you also don’t want them to be EXTREMELY ready to settle down. One of my buddies back home is a bit older and he mentioned something to me the other day that resonated with me. He said “well I’ll take what I can get at this point.” No one wants to be with someone that literally just wants them so they can settle down. But it’s confusing. Because you want commitment but you also don’t want it to come on too strong as you are in two different places in your life right now.

What do you think?

K

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